Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Do snipers lay on top of tank turrets during combat?

I don’t cotton to rapists

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Is it possible for humans to determine their past life as an animal? Is there a scientific method to prove this?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

How did the trans issue metastasize within just a decade from being a question of kindness and tolerance to a tiny minority to convulsing a whole society?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why do siblings (or other close relatives) stop visiting each other as they grow older? Why does this happen with so many people nowadays?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

— we are metamorphosing!

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Has your wife or girlfriend ever been felt up in public by a stranger?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What are some downsides to living in Newfoundland and Labrador (besides the weather)?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can count

The world of the Harry Potter series is usually considered bad worldbuilding. What are some examples of actually good worldbuilding in the books/movies?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Are you afraid to get married and why?

I see through liars

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

How far back into your childhood can your remember and what is your favorite memory of that time?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Can a Trump supporter explain what was wrong with what Bishop Budde said to Donald Trump?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can read

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for traitorism